We have been working on potty training and some days she does great, other days not so much. For some reason it hasn't clicked that she's not supposed to poop in her pants. She will tell me when she has to go "tinkle peeps" and we're pretty good at that, but not the poop. A few weeks ago she was upstairs playing and came downstairs to hand Kody a turd. And Saturday I was in the kitchen and smelled poop, so I followed my nose up the stairs to her room where she was supposed to be napping. Well, she had pooped and then pulled her pants down to inspect. And then she plopped herself down on her pillow and proceeded to play in it. So the pillow was smeared with poop, her face and arms and legs were smeared with poop, and the beautiful hairdo Cory had just styled for her was ruined. I flung her into the shower and scrubbed with a washcloth that afterward went straight to the garbage. And the pillow went straight to the garbage too, because I will not clean that crap, I won't. And after she was clean and dressed I put her back in her bed to finish her nap and I sprayed most of a bottle of Febreze throughout the entire upstairs floor, and a little of the downstairs. And then I cried a little bit because I couldn't get the smell out of my nose and I was mad because I hate poop. But when Kody got home a few minutes later it was suddenly funny. Go figure. All I know is I hate poop.
Last week I was sick of watching Toy Story 3 over and over again so I told her I was putting on a surprise movie to watch. I know it's August but I picked the Grinch because that is how sick I was of Toy Story. Kailee loved The Grinch at Christmas time, but that was months ago and I was sure she wouldn't remember it. So as soon as the menu came up she perked up and said "Oh! I haven't seen this movie forever!" And I started to roll my eyes because, really Kailee, Forever?? You're two. And then she says "It's the Green Bitch!" At that point everything froze and I felt my stomach drop. Did my two-year-old just say what I think she said? I asked her to repeat herself, and out it came again, "Green Bitch." So I reminded her that his name is Grinch and she says "Oh yeah. The Grinch. I haven't seen this forever!" So I have decided she just had a memory lapse and that is how she remembered his name. Don't judge. I didn't know what that word was until I was in middle school because Gilberts don't swear. Adams' on the other hand...
She also has a hoarding problem. Everyone tells me it's a phase that all two-year-olds go through but I feel like this is an extreme case. Pretty much her entire day is spent gathering toys in boxes or bags and purses and transporting them to another part of the house, where she dumps them, only to gather them yet again and transport them elsewhere. Ever since we moved her to the big girl bed she abuses her freedom and constantly leaps out of bed to empty her bookshelf and drawers and pile all of her books and toys on her bed. I don't know how she sleeps because there is so much CRAP all over the bed. We started taking toys and books out of the room but that just made the problem worse because she started getting into the closet. And then she would pile clothes and socks and shoes and Dora panties on the bed. We tried putting rubber bands over the doorknobs but she figured that out. Then we tried putting furniture in front of the doors, but that got to be a pain when we needed to get in. So we finally got a fake spider and put it in the closet. Again, don't judge. We were at the end of our ropes. After we placed the spider and put her to bed we stayed close to her door to listen. We heard the closet doors open and close but no screaming or hysterical fit. We waited a few minutes and then opened her door. She was sitting on her bed amidst piles of panties and shoes and calmly stated, "Dad, there's a spider in my closet."
We have since put the toys and books back in her room, because I would rather clean up books and toys than put all the clothes back in the closet. And because she discovered the heater vent and started pulling it out of the floor and spitting water from her sippy cup down it. We had to sit a 20 pound dumbbell on top of it- it weighs as much as she does.
This morning she woke up and, just like every morning, went straight to the living room to watch one of the 4 movies in her DVR rotation. She wants these 4 movies and nothing else. Ever. So anyway, she made herself comfortable on the couch and I started her movie. And then she said, "Mommy, chocolate milk is going to watch this movie with me." I just looked at her and she stared back at me very seriously. "Mommy, go make it. Get a spoon and make the chocolate milk."
I don't know where this kid comes from.
Here are some pictures of the Chunky Monkey. He keeps me sane.
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